Damian's Prank and Tim's Revenge
by TheHauntedKeyboard
Summary: Damian switches Tim's sunscreen with mayonnaise, and Tim wasn't happy. Good think he has the perfect plan for revenge, all he needs is a rooster,a emu, some fake claws, wings... Fanfic for ficwishlist on tumblr


He was going to _kill_ him.

Tim pushes the large doors to the entrance open and storms in. He goes past the library, passing a very surprised Barbara and Stephanie, who drops her book and proceeds to burst out laughing. He enters the kitchen and passes Jason who had snuck in to steal some of Alfred's famous stew. Jason chokes on the stew before letting out a very obnoxious laugh and yells out "Wow, going over board with the whole red thing, don't ya think?" as Tim grits his teeth and rushes out the door. He passes the study, ignoring Cassandra and Alfred who both watch him path by in silence, eyebrows raised in confusion.

He goes down the strays hidden behind the old grandfather clock two at a time, his fists clenched as he tries to keep his breathing normal. The temperature drops as he enters the Bat Cave, walking quickly past Dick who is so surprised that the training robot he was fighting against actually get's a good hit in. Finally Tim spots the little devil child himself, sitting in Bruce's chair and searching up something on the Bat computer, it looked like a list of interesting animals and Tim makes a note to himself to remember that for later.

"You rotten, scheming, short, rude-" Tim starts but Damian cuts him off, whirling around in the chair with a amused eyebrow raised.

"Hello Drake. Gotten a little too much sun have we?"

Tim let's out a strangled breath, it was taking all his willpower not to lunge right at the short child and strangle him. "I can't believe you would do something so petty!"

Damian gives him a blank look. "I have no idea what you're referring to. Oh, and next time you attend a school trip to the beach I recommend bringing sunscreen."

"I _did_ plan to bring sunscreen." Tim's voice is higher than he wished. "But _you_ switched it with _mayonnaise._ "

The only thing that betrayed Damian's emotions was the slightly twitch of his lips and his mocking tone. "What a ludicrous accusation, Drake. Besides the fact I don't need to use salad dressing to defeat you, obviously you, the 'great' detective Tim Drake, would be able to tell the difference between suncreen and mayonnaise."

Tim twitches, his whole body coiled with anger. That was the worst part, the absolute worst part. _He hadn't_. He would have. He should have. But damn it all he had been distracted. Distracted by a girl. He would never admit it but he a slight, _slight_ , crush on a girl in his class called Nicole. They had been friendly all year and surprisingly she had offered to rub the sunscreen on him, since, she said, it was always hard to reach your back and such.

Damn it. What with him trying not to act like a idiot, being distracted by her hands on his back, he hadn't even notice that what she was rubbing on him was _not_ sunscreen. And neither did she….until he exited the water looking like a lobster.

"Drake? Drake? Helloooo?" Damian calls, snapping Drake out of his seething.

"Y-you-you…" Tim growls, taking a step forward.

Damian raises an eyebrow and jumped out of his chair. "If you wish to battle I will gladly participate."

Tim opens his mouth, but the sound of a engine cuts him off. Batman was back. Not wanting his mentor to see him fighting over something so petty Tim grits his teeth and hunches his shoulders as Damian's smug grin grows.

"This isn't over." Tim vows, before curtly turning on his heel and walking back up the steps.

He was going to get his revenge.

But first he needed to find something to help with this burn…

 **oOoOo**

It was perfect. He had worked all day and night, hours and hours hunched over books and his laptop looking up exotic animals and their best attributes that would appeal to Damian. The wings of a dragon, the agility and grace of a tiger, the mane of a albino lion, the sharp eyes of an eagle, and so on, until the most incredible, beautiful, _perfect_ , species was created. The Pratsoon.

He typed the last word on wikipedia, he had included everything, dates of sighting, where it was spotted most, places of origin, it's prey, and so on. If anyone truly believed in this beast then they would have thought of themselves blessed if they ever had the chance to spot it. And that's just what he wanted. It was the perfect revenge.

Tim's grin grows as he strafes at the screen. When Damian would find it, and with all the exotic animal hunting he had been doing on the web he _would_ find it, he would be so enchanted he would fall head over heels to try to catch it. That was Damian's fatal flaw, his love of animals. That and the fact that he was still actually quite gullible about things on the internet, and believed most of it to be true, which was very foolish and Tim was going to use to his complete advantage.

He starts chuckling, and soon his laughter turns to outright, loud, evil sounding cackling.

"Uh."

Tim stops laughing, slams his laptop shut, and whirls around in his chair.

"Hey." Dick waves from where he was poking his head in through the crack in the door. "You, um, okay?"

"Yes." Tim nods, making sure his expression revealed nothing.

"…Okay…" Dick gives him a look that clearly shows he thought his brother had finally gone insane, before ducking back out into the hallway and closes the door.

Tim turns back to his laptop, opens it, adds the finishing touches, a few pictures here, a few facts there, and then clicked the finished button. his creation was complete. Now all he had to do was lay the bait and wait.

 **oOoOo**

Finally after days of waiting Tim finally found a golden opportunity.

"How could they treat animals so horribly? They deserve to be thrown in a pot of boiling oil." Robin grumbles as they tie up the uncurious animal traffickers they had just captured. Batman was preoccupied with interrogating one of the men, now was Red Robin's chance.

"Yeah." He agrees. "And the animals weren't even worth all that much. I mean, if you're going to go hunting for animals you should aim for the best, like the Pratsoon."

Robin turns, confusions and suspicious on his face. "A Pratsoon?"

Red Robin gasps, secretly enjoying this very much. "You mean you don't know?"

"Don't know what?" Robin growls.

Red Robin has to hold back his grin. "A Pratsoon is one of the most extraordinary animals that roam the earth, surly you, such a lover of exotic animals, would know this."

"Of course I did." Robin lies, crossing his arms. "It just…slipped my mind."

Red Robin nods, but inside he was practically tap dancing.

 **oOoOo**

Tim was sure be now that Damian had looked up the Pratsoon and read the wikipedia article, the only reason he hadn't said a word about it was because the last time he tried to catch some strange creature Dick had started yelling about how they were't a zoo. A little ironic with all the titles of bats and birds and whatnot being thrown around. But Tim knew he had read it because he was spending more time on the computer than normal, and he had even caught him looking on a map of the places where he had wrote the Pratsoon had been spotted.

"Thinking of going to New Zealand?" Tim had asked innocently, observing him analyzing the map.

Damian sniffs, trying to look uninterested. "Just trying to wizen my horizons, something you might con side doing Drake."

The next part of the plan was almost ready to begin, he just needed to get a certain someone involved and his revenge would be complete.

 **OoOoO**

"This is going to be hilarious!" Stephanie cries as she and Tim try to wrestle down a rooster and a emu. Tim agrees, it definitely would be awesome.

It had been easy getting Stephanie to agree to the plan. He had had her at "prank" and "crazy animals". Now the two were trying to grab some feathers from the emu to glue on to the rooster, both animals were protesting. It had been easy to buy a few fake props, beaks, claws, wings, the usual from a few good halloween stores, it had also been easy to slip into the zoo and steal the rooster and emu. But this was proving to be a challenge.

Tim spits out a few feathers that had flown into his mouth as he tried to keep the rooster still. "Grab the stupid emu- ow! This rooster just bit me!"

 **oOoOo**

Huffing and puffing the two bring their wonderfully strange looking creation into the courtyard of the mansion. The rooster was covered in different colored feather, and was wearing fake clawed feet, wings, horns, and other strange objects, and it was not happy about it. But that was alright, afterwards Tim would clean it all of, it deserved that much.

"Okay, he's over by the trees practicing some moves." Stephanie says when she comes back from scouting. Their were scratches covering her entire face and her hair was a rats nest from the fight with the emu and the chicken, but she was too excited to care. Tim felt pretty giddy himself.

"Alright. On the count of three."

Stephanie nods and they both grin as they begin counting together.

"Three."

The wind rushes through the trees and if you strained your ears you could hear Damian yelling as he attacked at a poor defenseless bush.

"Two."

The rooster caws, flapping a win in annoyance but Tim doesn't let go.

"One."

Stephanie and Tim lock eyes and Tim whirls aroud, throwing the rooster into the air. "GO!"

Startled the rooster caws again and takes of around the mansion in Damian's direction.

And then startling the silence of the late evening is utter and complete pandemonium.

 **oOoOo**

Bruce rushes out of the house when he hears the screams. Arms raised he's prepared for a fight, but what he see sis nothing he could have prepared for.

Damian is practically screaming his head off as he races after a…a rooster? What the hell was _on_ it? "Catch it! Catch it!"

Bewildered Bruce looks around the courtyard where the other had joined him. Cassandra was staring in complete confusion, Alfred has his arms crosses and was looking disapprovingly at the mess of fake claws and wings lying torn on the used to be clean yard, Barbara loomed like she didn't know what to think, Jason (wait, what was he doing here?) was lying on the ground nearly dying with laughter, both Dick and Stephanie were running around the lawn trying to help Damian catch the monstrous.

"How did it get in?!" Dick asks, making a dive but the rooster dodges, leaps onto his head, and takes off.

Instead of answering Stephanie let's out a startled laugh slash scream as Damian flips over her and tries in vain to grab at the rooster. What was he yelling? Get the Pratsoon? What the hell was a Pratsoon?

And in the corner of the yard, leaning against a tree clutching at his hurting stomach from laughing so hard, was a evilly grinning Tim who had a phone raised and was recording the whole thing.

Bruce observs the chaotic scene before sighing and raising a hand to his forehead, already feeling a major headache coming on, and slowly walking back into the house. Heading towards the kitchen to look for some much needed advil.


End file.
